Archive | April, 2009

Lost in Transition

21 Apr

Israelites

“The Lord Answered Moses, ‘Is the Lord’s arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you.’” -Numbers 11:23

 
The Israelites had to leave Egypt with nothing more than a promise of a better place, and God’s blessing. They had to end their previous relationship. They had to forsake Egypt in order to gain the promised land. It was one or the other; not both. They had to stand up and turn their backs on the bondage of the past. They had to walk away from the lifestyles they had grown so accustomed to. They left their comfort zones, their coping mechanisms, their pain, and their pasts. So why long for the former things that only cheapen your worth?

While we may view them as naive at their desire to go back, how many times do we find ourselves in the same place? We find ourselves safe from the pain in our pasts, yet walking away from them seems uncomfortably inconvenient. We find ourselves lost in transition. Questioning the decisions we made to leave, fighting our guide, and rejecting our provision.

It’s this uncomfortable, inconvenient, and unpredictable stage where the former things-despite how painful they were; begin to look desirable. We struggle trusting. We find ourselves looking upon our pasts and saying “at least we knew what our job was, at least we knew who we were, where we were going, how to make a living”.

I believe this is why the Israelites went round and round in circles. They didn’t trust the process, or embrace the present. God hadn’t let them in on his fast-forward button; He only gave them a glimpse. A promise of what was to come. Somewhere, lost in transition; Their glimpse, which was once a bright future-seemed galaxies away from their current location and circumstance. They questioned His way, because they didn’t feel it was how He should bring the promise to pass.

Maybe God doesn’t give us all the answers so that we trust the One who makes the promises instead of the promises themselves. What if He’s just waiting for us to prove ourselves faithful, trusting, worthy of the call. What if giving us all the answers would only cause us to trust in ourselves, or the promises, more than Him. “Trust Me, I’m the only way the promise will come to pass.”

Perhaps God wants us truly trust Him, beyond the voices, circumstances, and situations. Perhaps He would have us prove ourselves as Abraham did with Isaac. Even though Abraham’s present circumstances screamed that killing Isaac would surely kill the seed of promise; he trusted the Lord. Abraham knew God well enough to know that the Lord is a keeper of His word. He was confident that God would fulfill his promise- even if Isaac was out of the picture, and all hope seemed lost.

You see, promises in themselves have no power if they aren’t backed by a trustworthy source. It’s the Promise-Keeper who alone is worthy of our unfaltering faith. Too many people grow tired, weary, impatient, and unhappy because they placed their trust in “the word of the Lord” instead of the Lord Himself. So when the present circumstances don’t match up with their promise; their faith falters.

We must press onward, prove ourselves faithful, embrace the present. You never know how far, or close, you are from your promise. Longing to go back could be turning a short trip into forty years of misery and discomfort.

“God had proved Himself strong and faithful, yet, the still distrusting Nation prolonged the process.” -Pastor Mike Hayes

04/01/09- Its Your Birthday- So Celebrate!

1 Apr

On a day full of pranks for the sake of April Fools, I am praying. I’m praying for you on your birthday, Dad.

I’ve been praying for you. My heart has changed a lot since we last talked. If you’re reading this please know that I love you. I choose to remember the good. And I hope you will do the same.

While I do not understand, I am not bitter or angry. I learned the hard way that nothing I did or had could ever bring you back or fill the void-not alcohol, success, or relationships. At the end of it all, I found Jesus, for real this time. And I pray the same is someday true for you as well.

I worry about you, I don’t know what you’re doing, where you’re living, or who you are anymore. You always liked to live life on the edge. And you were always pushing the limits. So you’re most likely in a million different places all at once.

I remember you as such a diligent worker, most people would have considered you somewhat of a hermit, or brilliant introvert. But what many colleagues would never know is that you’re a stuntman at heart; complete with stories of driving straight up walls on motorcycles, and doing doughnuts on streets in the middle of ice storms.

I always told you I hated it, but the truth is I loved it. I had coolest dad ever, who always challenged me to face my fears head on. Somewhere along the lines, things changed, I can’t find you, a lot of people are looking for you, and four years later, I’ve lost bragging rights.

I miss you. The talks, tag along trips, even proofreading your documents and listening in on your conference calls. I found my passion for business and writing thanks to you. And more than likely, I also owe my skills to you as well.

Everyone’s so grown up, you probably wouldn’t even recognize us seven kids. We can all talk and walk on our own now, even shop. Haha.

My intent is not to put you on blast nor is this my pathetic public attempt for pity.  I just want you to know that I’m praying for you. I’m believing God to send someone to point you in the right direction. And someday, bring restoration to our relationship.

If you ever do read this, please don’t think that it’s by accident. I am being intentional.  While part of this is indeed somewhat therapeutic (haha) there is no way I’d just post my business online unless I thought there was a slight chance of you finding it, and I hope you do.

So if you’re looking for a reason to call me, here it is. I’ve kept my phone number as the same one you got me when I was fourteen.

So, happy birthday Dad. I love you.

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