1- You often find yourself narrating your normal, daily activities aloud: Ex: “We’re crossing the street, but first, we look both ways and make certain that no big cars are coming”, “see, we use our toothbrush to brush our teethers, not our hair”, and “we open our mouths when we eat, you can’t eat with a closed mouth.”
2- You frequent and request birthday/Christmas/Mother’s day gift cards to stores that conveniently carry your size + adorable miniature sizes. Ex: Target, H&M, Gap, Old Navy, etc. Because two birds, one stone– duh.
3- You catch yourself speaking in third-person. Often. Ex: “Mommy said please don’t do that”, “please give that to Mommy”, “Mommy loves you”, and finally, “Mommy’s going to bed now…”
4- “Dry Shampoo” lands on the grocery list at least once a month. Because let’s be honest, life is simply too short to wash your hair every day.
5- Your very first questions when shopping for a handbag aren’t “is it trendy?” or “what can I wear this with?” but instead: “is the interior waterproof?” and “can it be worn as a backpack?”
6- You almost instantaneously want to hug/help/encourage any mother, anywhere, with a crying/screaming/tantrum-ing infant/toddler/child/human.
Motherhood changes you, folks, in all the best ways.